Carrot On A Stick: Man Flu Strikes. Staff Can’t Be Arsed

In a week of turmoil and horror, the Carrot On A Stick staff have finally returned to work. Struck down with what can only be described as a worldwide health emergency, the entire team were incapacitated for upwards of a week, unable to function.

With at least one article due, it was simply too much to ask for the team to participate in work related activities. “It’s just unrealistic working conditions” said one staff member who wished to remain nameless. “How can they expect me to write 500 words once a week when I’ve a snotty nose and a mild headache?”.

Carrot On A Stick: Man-flu Strikes. Staff Can't Be Arsed
One of our employee’s taking a well deserved rest.

Although the editor of Carrot On A Stick refuses to be drawn into the discussion (he’s currently in Hawaii topping up his tan), another staff member who also wished to remain anonymous – for fear of losing his free monthly Starbucks – chose to comment. “It’s just too much to ask when we’re all feeling a bit off. I’m well enough to sit on the computer at home and play video games but it’s totally unfair to expect me to do my job.”

With all staff now back at work, what can readers expect in the coming days and months? “Honestly, not much.” adds one disgruntled employee. “It’s been tough having a few sleepless nights and they really don’t pay us enough to hit the ground running. $100,000 dollars a year really is just rubbing salt into the wound, expecting us to put out content on a regular basis”.

As ever Carrot On Stick will keep you up to date on any developments when it comes to the teams’ health and well being, and we’ll be sure to notify you of any impending absences should they arise.