Vermintide: Man Convinced He Is A Witch Hunter. Parents Disappointed

The ever popular Warhammer: End Times – Vermintide finds itself at the forefront of a bizarre family feud this morning, with one member claiming the game is having embarrassing effects on their son after becoming convinced he is a Witch Hunter.

According to Dawn Clover, her son is now convinced he’s a Witch Hunter and as a result, has not only begun to act differently, but he insists that they now call him Louis Van Hal. Matthew, the Witch Hunter at the center of the turmoil, insists he’s done nothing wrong and is now expressing his true self. “I know my mum’s mad, but at 39 I’ve suddenly found my true identity.” He goes on to add that, “I’ve already applied to change my name legally – they’re just going to have to get used to it.”

What makes the story so compelling isn’t necessarily the breakdown of Dawn and Matthew’s relationship, but more the fact that Dawn and her husband, Roger, simply think he’s doing a bad job at being a Witch Hunter.

“We don’t care that he wants to be a Witch Hunter, he’s lived under our roof for thirty nine years. What we care about is that he does it properly.”

A stickler for detail, it transpires that both Dawn and her husband are horrified at his lack of care and attention, having spent several days researching a Witch Hunter’s ‘look’ on Pinterest. Roger is quick to point out where his son is going wrong. “If you’re going to be a Witch Hunter, at the very least you should find the right kind of gear. At present he’s walking around in a fedora and my old tweed coat wielding our nephew’s Nerf gun. He looks like a cross between Indiana Jones and Sherlock Holmes. It’s ridiculous.”

Vermintide: Man Convinced He Is A Witch Hunter. Parents Disappointed
“Not Louis Van Hal.”

According to Roger, he lost his temper last week having seen his tweed coat-fedora-combo one too many times. “I just lost it. I’ve never spoken to my son like it before, but it had to be said.” When asked what that was, Roger simply replied, “That we’re disappointed in him.”

We asked Louis Van Hal (using this name at his request) as to whether he thought this was true, if he had found any witches, and was his costume a work-in-progress? “I don’t think so and I think the costume is irrelevant. A hat is a hat and this one looks particularly dapper. As for witches, there are loads in Manchester but I’ve not yet left the house. I stubbed my toe at the weekend and it hurts to walk.”

Whether or not Louis Van Hal and his family can reconcile their differences all depends on his willingness to take his new found identity seriously. His parents aren’t convinced and they hope that by reaching out to us, to publicize their plight, that the development team behind Warhammer: End Times – Vermintide, Fatshark, will have sympathy and send him a legitimate costume. “Even if they can just tell him he’s got it all wrong, or give him a costume so that we don’t have to see him looking a mess, we’d be grateful. Right now he’s hurting our credibility – we used to have 10 followers on Twitter, we’re now down to 3.”

Carrot On A Stick has reached out to Fatshark for comment.