MMO Survey Says Players Never Satisfied. No One Surprised

In news that will come as a shock to no-one, the University of Sheffield and its lead researcher, Professor McGonagall, have today revealed that MMO gamers are never satisfied.

Having researched MMO players, their gaming preferences and habits for the last 25 years, Professor McGonagall and her team will finally publish their results this week. “Twenty-five years is a long time to study anything, but we felt there was value in it, in order to understand the market and how players react to the games they’re playing. We wanted to learn what would satisfy typical massively multiplayer gamers.”

Unsurprisingly and despite interviewing over 500,000 “hardcore” MMO players, (people Professor McGonagall refers to as Pearl) the consensus rarely altered: it wouldn’t matter how much content or freedom developers gave to players they’d always be unhappy with what they were given. “I’ve never in all my years of research seen anything like it, they’re just so miserable. It’d take witchcraft and wizardry just to find someone.”

MMO Survey Says Players Never Satisfied. No One Surprised
Guild Wars 2: Critically applauded. According to those interviewed? “It’s shit”.

Perhaps the most surprising thing is the amount of time Professor McGonagall and her team dedicated to the study. Did they really need so much time? “Honestly, no. We reached the point however where we just wanted to find one person who was satisfied. Out of more than half a million players, not one had much good to say. Those who did always quickly found something to complain about.”

What about the cost? A team of 100 researchers working full time for 25 years can’t have come cheap. “We’ve spent many millions of pounds that probably would have been better spent taking these players somewhere fun, like a water park or an adventure playground. It might have cheered them up.”

Professor McGonagall and her team are due to publish their survey results in full in the next few days. We’ll keep you posted.

  • CerN

    All these MMOs need, is an open non-instanced world, good and slow progression, a good modern combat system, open world pvp on PVP-servers, lots of endgame RAID content. All of these things exist in MMOs, but there is not a single MMO that combine all these elements.

    Guild Wars 2 is pretty close, especially with the new action camera. If they had added open world PVP, de-instanced the world (removing loading screens and portals), and added more raids (they have started to add some), and perhaps a better more substancial loot-progression, most hardcore players would be really satisfied with it. The game is pretty good in its current form, but this would make it a top MMO.

    • Unfortunately asking for all that, is asking for a lot. Development is expensive and challenging – much harder than it used to be and much more expensive. On top of those things people also want perfect balance, original classes and skills. It’s a headache for any studio.

  • Viraldi

    No Capes No Purchase

  • Whatever

    Most people are just ignorant about the effort and the challenges a game development has.