You’ve picked your Game of the Year from 2015. You’re feeling confident? We reveal seven reasons why the choice you made is WAY off.
1. Bad Cover Mechanics.
Your favorite game from 2015 featured neither the satisfying snap -to-cover of Gears of War, nor the exhilarating thrills of Vanquish; if it even had any at all!
2. Yes, That Game You Enjoyed A Lot More DID Come Out This Year!
We get it. Nobody remembers anything they played in February, even if it was really good. Just pick something you enjoyed much less from October instead.
3. Your Game of the Year Last Year Was Visually Downgraded.
It totally was. Go check out the launch trailers! Damn these new consoles to hell.
4. That New Dialogue System, Though?
Vague. Confusing. Regularly betrays your intentions and further strips away player ownership of the playable character. It’s rubbish. Of course this only really applies to Fallout 4, which works on the assumption somebody somewhere thinks Fallout 4 is the best game of 2015. Ha ha ha!
That game you’ve picked as your Game of the Year for 2015 had lots of murder in it, we bet. Undoubtedly of men – fathers, husbands, brothers, sons – but maybe even also of women. Of mothers and wives, daughters and sisters. It is not too late to change your vote to Splatoon, you monster.
6. No, Waiting Outside Best Buy For Retailer Exclusive Amiibo’s Does Not Count.
If you listed camping outside your local retailer at 4am – or even hovering over an Amazon pre-order page from the comfort of your own home- as your favourite game of 2015, please stop. Seek urgent professional attention.
7. You Didn’t Play Enough Rocket League, Did You?
Something something Witcher something Bloodborne something something Metal Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain – A Hideo Kojima game by Hideo Kojima, brought to you by Hideo Kojima in association with Hideo Kojima and Kojima Productions. Let’s be honest, if you’d played more Rocket League, you wouldn’t be so wrong about your arbitrary life choices such as this.